There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
