I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
