Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
