Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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