Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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