There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Randomize