i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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