3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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