Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
