I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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