Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
