At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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