he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Be still, my beating vagina.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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