I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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