I hate all girls vehemently.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
