Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
