I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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