No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
