i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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