the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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