its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
