you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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