your room smells of hookers.
And success
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
