my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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