You're my little dorito
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
