My Higher Power is John Stamos
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
