Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
