your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
