Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
