You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
