There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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