you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
