I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
