Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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