why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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