The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
