sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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