i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
