dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
