could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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