I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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