she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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