My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
