you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Less talking, more tequila
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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