I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
