i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
