Just fell off a train. Bad.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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