I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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