we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
