his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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