So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
