We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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