New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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