I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
