i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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