i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
