I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
