Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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