I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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