jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
