so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
