I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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